Tuesday, June 29, 2010

R

Romance

(really not my thing)

 

I tried really hard this time

I guess some things were never meant to be

You were the finest thing I never had my dear

I guess Romance is really not my thing

 

This is a love song

It is a last resort

Making you love me

Is proving much harder than I thought

 

I tried to impress you by matching you beer for beer

But I passed out before 11 pm and when I woke you’d disappeared

(There goes my first attempt)

 

Next time I spent all my money to try to get you paralytic

But you got so drunk and confused that you went home with the wrong girl

And I wasn’t sympathetic

That cost me so much fucking money

How pathetic.

I didn’t find it funny

 

 

This is a love song

It is a last resort

Making you love me

Is proving much harder than I thought

 

I gave it my all

When I should have played it cool

Then I gave it all up

When you were just about to fall (for me)

I gave you my heart

When you had both of your hands full

This game of romance

Is really not my thing at all

 

You want a beer? Ill buy you a beer

You want to talk?

Nah babe it’s too loud in here

Oh you want ME to talk.

I already told you you were pretty

Oh you want me to make you laugh?

Fuck that I’m too drunk to be witty

But I’ll give you this shit that I found in my bag

I know it’s not wit

But it’s all that I have

Have this!

It used to be a flower now it’s just a stalk

It’s something I prepared earlier in case I got too drunk to talk

So I could still be charming and sweet

Debonair and romantic

Shut up I know it’s just a stalk!

Don’t be so fucking pedantic!

Oh what? Now you’re leaving? After all of my trying?

My bluffing and my giving? You drinking and me buying?

UGH fine.

I didn’t like you anyway.

 

Here have this fucking lovesong

You hard-to-get little prince

I shoulda tried this earlier

So I’d’ve spent less on buying you drinks

See this? This is me being romantic.

Ah shit. I guess Romance is really not my thing.

8 comments:

  1. I loved it when you sang it to me and I love it even more now. Love it, love it, LOVE it :D
    If you ever want to do it as a duet, then I hope I'm in your top five choices x

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  2. DUH!
    You are the first listing under drunk gypsy chaotic unromantic fuck-up alcohol induced duet

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  3. and wow I almost forgot I was "subscribed" to this thing.. when did THIS happen? (must've been drunk at the time ;) )

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  4. Now that's an achievement to be proud of. Could any stage cope with the level of inane insanity from TWO drunken basketcases? Dunno but it'd be fun to try... before we got arrested :)

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  5. Wait, who is first to Nazz? Who would you put before Nazz on that list? What are you talking about? I don't understand. Go back to your own blog! Wait no please don't! MY BLOG IS SO LONELY! NO BODY talks to my blog. My blog never gets invited to parties!

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  6. You firsted me Birdy num nums.
    I do have a choice I'd put before me though. I'd go with that guy from Vulgargrad. Ooh or Tom Waits. Or Shane McGowan from the Pogues. Then me.

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  7. You are a creative genius.
    Truly a Goddess among mortals.

    ReplyDelete