R

Romance

(really not my thing)

 

I tried really hard this time

I guess some things were never meant to be

You were the finest thing I never had my dear

I guess Romance is really not my thing

 

This is a love song

It is a last resort

Making you love me

Is proving much harder than I thought

 

I tried to impress you by matching you beer for beer

But I passed out before 11 pm and when I woke you’d disappeared

(There goes my first attempt)

 

Next time I spent all my money to try to get you paralytic

But you got so drunk and confused that you went home with the wrong girl

And I wasn’t sympathetic

That cost me so much fucking money

How pathetic.

I didn’t find it funny

 

 

This is a love song

It is a last resort

Making you love me

Is proving much harder than I thought

 

I gave it my all

When I should have played it cool

Then I gave it all up

When you were just about to fall (for me)

I gave you my heart

When you had both of your hands full

This game of romance

Is really not my thing at all

 

You want a beer? Ill buy you a beer

You want to talk?

Nah babe it’s too loud in here

Oh you want ME to talk.

I already told you you were pretty

Oh you want me to make you laugh?

Fuck that I’m too drunk to be witty

But I’ll give you this shit that I found in my bag

I know it’s not wit

But it’s all that I have

Have this!

It used to be a flower now it’s just a stalk

It’s something I prepared earlier in case I got too drunk to talk

So I could still be charming and sweet

Debonair and romantic

Shut up I know it’s just a stalk!

Don’t be so fucking pedantic!

Oh what? Now you’re leaving? After all of my trying?

My bluffing and my giving? You drinking and me buying?

UGH fine.

I didn’t like you anyway.

 

Here have this fucking lovesong

You hard-to-get little prince

I shoulda tried this earlier

So I’d’ve spent less on buying you drinks

See this? This is me being romantic.

Ah shit. I guess Romance is really not my thing.