Romance
(really not my thing)
I tried really hard this time
I guess some things were never meant to be
You were the finest thing I never had my dear
I guess Romance is really not my thing
This is a love song
It is a last resort
Making you love me
Is proving much harder than I thought
I tried to impress you by matching you beer for beer
But I passed out before 11 pm and when I woke you’d disappeared
(There goes my first attempt)
Next time I spent all my money to try to get you paralytic
But you got so drunk and confused that you went home with the wrong girl
And I wasn’t sympathetic
That cost me so much fucking money
How pathetic.
I didn’t find it funny
This is a love song
It is a last resort
Making you love me
Is proving much harder than I thought
I gave it my all
When I should have played it cool
Then I gave it all up
When you were just about to fall (for me)
I gave you my heart
When you had both of your hands full
This game of romance
Is really not my thing at all
You want a beer? Ill buy you a beer
You want to talk?
Nah babe it’s too loud in here
Oh you want ME to talk.
I already told you you were pretty
Oh you want me to make you laugh?
Fuck that I’m too drunk to be witty
But I’ll give you this shit that I found in my bag
I know it’s not wit
But it’s all that I have
Have this!
It used to be a flower now it’s just a stalk
It’s something I prepared earlier in case I got too drunk to talk
So I could still be charming and sweet
Debonair and romantic
Shut up I know it’s just a stalk!
Don’t be so fucking pedantic!
Oh what? Now you’re leaving? After all of my trying?
My bluffing and my giving? You drinking and me buying?
UGH fine.
I didn’t like you anyway.
Here have this fucking lovesong
You hard-to-get little prince
I shoulda tried this earlier
So I’d’ve spent less on buying you drinks
See this? This is me being romantic.
Ah shit. I guess Romance is really not my thing.
